Sunday, November 9, 2014

-------“You have everything about you.”-------

Someone I knew once said this to me.

Aku terdiam. Berfikir panjang.  Everything?. No, I don’t. The grass on the other side is always greener kan. Always. Your friends’ posts on FB/Instagram/Twitter even your own posts. People nampak macam bestnya hidup dia/kita.  Ada dua rasa we can pick; nak rasa emo sebab jeles or nak rasa happy sebab genuinely happy pasal that person is happy. Tapi thats it. 

Social media is really a snapshot about your life. A snapshot about a moment of happiness/sadness/anger/ whatever mood you tried to potray in that particular post. It doesn’t tell you more than that. Unless you actually live/stay/travel with that person for many days. Then only you know the conflicts that she/he has within herself/himself, people around her/him, family issues, financial issues, health issues etc.

But this is not the license for you to feel happier or luckier if you are actually better off than that person bila tahu all the problems she/ he has in life. The idea is to reflect within ourselves, setiap orang ada struggle dia sendiri termasuk kita. Paling penting kita bersyukur bila senang, sabar bila susah. Kalau rasa tak sabar dah, ambil sabar yang baru letak atas kesabaran yang lama supaya kita lebih banyak sabar lagi. 

I still remember one of the scholars said, 

“Kedengkian hanya akan memakan amal kebaikan kita.”

So better not. Kalau ada rasa jealous, lepaskan perasaan itu. Lepaskan, its not good for ourselves. Meh sama sama rasa happy. Kalau kita nak post something dengan niat nak jeleskan orang lain, then dont post it. Niat dah salah awal.Paling penting niat kita.

Moga yang menulis dan yang membaca ini sama-sama amalkan. insyaAllah J

"Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy."


Sunday, November 2, 2014



Alhamdulillah! I am reaching towards the end of my Psychiatry placement. Already? Yes! Already! Alhamdulillah, tak percaya rasanya. There are sooooo many things I have learned from this rotation!

1.      Childhood is the best indicator for adulthood

 Most of my patients yang paling susah nak deal with are personality disorder patients. Bila sentuh pasal zaman kanak-kanak, Sexual/physical/emotional abuse are part of it.Diperkosa (wah my malay is still so good :p) oleh ayah/uncle/abang.

Therefore, I could really appreciate, how important it is institusi kekeluargaan dalam membentuk keperibadian anak anak from kecik. Bak kata pepatah, melentur buluh biar dari rebungnya. Mak ayah perangai elok, insyaAllah anak-anak. I have seen my patients. Wondered how their parents are. Majority, mak ayah pun are going through the same things as them. Very complicated to deal with. Tapi this is not a generalisation. Sometimes, mak ayah perangai elok tapi Allah bagi ujian. :D

So I advise to myself and to u too! Everything(Akhlak, Ilmu ) start from ourselves. From us, turun dekat anak anak turun dekat cucu turun dekat cicit. InsyaAllah. 

2.      Sometimes I just get tired of them.
One time, my patient cut herself dengan serpihan kaca. I went to attend the patient. Examined the laceration. It was realy painful, bleeding. Menggelatar patient tu sebab sakit.. Advised for sterile strip and just glue the wound together. Then, pesanlah jangan buat lagi please.

Guess what ? Dia buat lagi. Even korek dia punya wound using a plastic spoon. I was called again for 2-3 times to see her. Time tu rasa nak cubit and say,

“Hey! Kan harituh sakit, kenapa buat lagi? Kalau buat lagi, xnak tengok dah“

But then, I reflected. Can you imagine? How Forgiving Allah is.  I did something silly. I repented. Buat dosa, I felt so bad, I made my heart sick, then I came back to Him. I was about to do something silly again, know the consequences. Buat lagi. Minta ampun balik kat Allah. Again and again and again. MashaAllah He never get tired of us.

 3.   Treating symptoms only will never help people to cure.

Oh okay. She is depressed. Give antidepressants. Oh she is maniac, stop antidepressants, give mood stabiliser. Oh she is so agitated, give lorazepam/haloperidol. Then we have ward review, we tried to sort everything out from financial (benefits), employment until housing issues. Giving whatever support we could possibly give. We were trying our best to minimise any risks leading relapse upon their discharge.

Then again. Re-admission. Due to overdose. One of my patients cut her tummy with knife. It was really deep and she inserted CD into the wound (What?!?)

Sometimes, we don’t feel right. we feel serabut. We feel so low. We went out to have fun. Came back, feeling more depressed. Listened to music. Watched movies. No, this does not feel right, thinking we had fun but it didnt last long. Ini semua symptomatic relief. Then we know what we need. We need Him. Only Him. We need to speak to Him more. We need to listen to things that will make ourselves closer to Him. Also we need my parents and the right person for advice. List the things that we are worried about, and buat satu satu, seek help from Him, insyaAllah Allah permudahkan. :D

Kawan bukan Islam said that her hati tenang sangat bila kat mosque. MashaAllah its amzaing right? :)

4.       Dealing with people that will challenge your patience.

Nurse: Doctor, patient ini saya rasa ade urinary tract infection. boleh tak awak jumpa dia?
Me : Hurm, kenapa awak cakap macam itu?
Nurse: Saya rasalah. Saya rasa lebih baek awak pergi jumpa.
Me:  Awak dah buat urine dipstick test tak?
Nurse: Belum.
Me: Kalau dah buat baru panggil saya.

Time ini rasa macam. Come on Nurse. Benda ini common sense. Jangan nak pass tanggungjawab je keje. Haha. Rasa nak marah. Then I started to reflect. Being kind to those who are kind to you is ordinary. To be kind towards those who are mean to you is awesome. And our Prophet Muhammad SAW is such a good example kan. So, Najah, please have a good manner and patience please!!!!

5.      The majority thinks that religion is no longer a priority.

One my patient came to me. Really close to me. It was quite intimidating.

Patient: I like your attire. Why are u wearing a headscarf.
Me: Because I am a Muslim.
Patient: Ohhh, you are! I didn’t know this.

One of my nursing staffs said tak ke rasa pakai tudung ini macam rimas. Tak ke leceh nak buat kerja. Then I said no. My friend cakap, cabutlahhhh tudung, saya rasa awak sepatutnya cabut tudung! Awak mesti nampak lagi cantik x pakai tudung. I looked at her and I said, “What do you mean? InsyaAllah, no, never.”

My  friend (lelaki) nak ‘sep’ tangan and I was like. I said this inside my heart. {No. I couldn’t do this. Sebab I know I will feel so bad if I sep his hand.} While laughing I said, “Sorry, I don’t do this.” And guess what? He doesn’t mind at all. One my friend knew about this and he said “Seplah tangan aku Najah, kau duduk kat Negara ni mana boleh tak sep tangan. Beberapa saat je sentuh.” Then I still said no. He took his hand away.

People will challenge you on your faith. Tak kisah lah staff nurse, patients, kengkawan kerja. You just have to protect it for the sake of Allah. Never allow them to ridicule your stance, belief that you have held after these years. 

Please make dua for me, it is still a long way to go.I desperately need your dua to be steadfast in increasing my eeman and taqwa. Sesama doakan tau please amen! :D\