Final exam

26th January 2014: 50 days before my final exam of medical school.

MashaAllah. Time flies too fast. The sentence I always repeat to myself or any people who I met after I havent seen them for quite some time.

I had a very intense weekend, 2 days of Dr Clarke's Medicine and Surgery Course. This weekend is the most productive weekend ever in my medical school, academically.Magic. Haha.

Tomorrow is my GP intro day. For another 6 weeks. Then study break. Then exam. Then Spring Break Holiday. Then Elective. Then insyaAllah, graduation day.

Please make dua I ll be more focus in my studies. The nearer the exam is, the tempation to do other things other than studying is getting higher too! 

Tak boleh camne Najah. Dah Najah. Okay, I need to go. Take care. Wassalam.

The real 'Najah'.

If possible,  whatever I write in my blog, I am trying to be so careful with what I write here, in case it is going to hurt anyone's feelings in any ways. And also, I have always believed that we will be tested on what we said. That is why in any post, the post is a reminder especially for myself first then only others. :)

I learn that a real Najah(my name in Arabic means success) ;) does not mean when you are better than the others, but it means when you can be better than yesterday. That is the real success. Deep in everyone's heart, everyone wants to be a good person right? I want to be one too! High five!

But the path to be a good person who has a good heart is not easy. Our desire dislike things which are good for our heart. There is a hugeeee conflict of interest between our desire and heart, no wonder I personally find it very difficult to be steadfast in doing good things. But then I remember clearly the conversation I had with my Ustadha Hamidah when I was 17. I said to her; 

" Can you please give me an advice to keep myself stay close to Islam no matter what happens in my life especially after school, when there is no teachers will  be there to make me solah on time, in jamaah, recite Quran, wake me up for Qiyam. "

She said;

"Look after your solah and do not ever leave the Quran."

In life, we can make a long list of thing need to be done in order to help us to have a good heart. But then, as a beginner to have a good heart, the first thing I said to myself to do is, let us look after our solah. An ustadh said once, if you are doing solah, but it does not prevent you from doing sins and helping you to do more good things, then check the quality of your solah. Means, there is definitely something wrong in your solah. Let us see what we can learn out of our solah to practise in life.

1. PROBLEMS

When we said Allahuakbar, its a reminder to us, no matter how great our problems are in life, Allah is always the Greatest. He will help us to solve them.

2. CONCENTRATION

If we find it hard to concentrate in solah, its even harder to concentrate in other tasks such as in lectures.Imagine how hard we tried sometimes to just stay awake in lectures; drink coffee, chewing sweets, sleep early at nights. So, why not we try harder to stay focus in our solah?  The ability to concentrate in our solah will help us to concentrate in other tasks in life. So lets work on this insyaAllah.

3.INTENTION

Solah in western world especially in public area, (we have a very limited space to pray) made us very very very conscious about what are the non muslims thinking about us while praying. Forget about them. Solah is a special relation between you and Allah. You are not trying to please them but you are pleasing Allah. If their thoughts are making you worried so much, this reflects on how much you want to please people than Allah.So, in our life, lets get our intention straight; to please Allah before we start doing the actions.

4. DISCIPLINE
To pray at its earliest time as possible. Imagine we are so late to meet our consultant for the very first time in our hospital placement, how do we feel?

"Oh crap! I just made a very bad first impression about myself to my clinical supervisor and how this is gonna help me for my whole placement here especially he is the one who is going to sign me off?"

And what we have done about impressing Allah?He is the One who is going to sign us off in the hereafter.So lets make very good impressions about ourselves to Allah in pleasing Him by being punctual to pray our solat at its earliest time, even better in jamaah.

I remember an Imam who is also a doctor in Queen's hospital during khutbah jumaah once said;

"Work hard, put a sincere effore and have a strong desire to do our obligatory prayers. BE PASSIONATE while walking to prayer room."


5. SABAR

Okay, I am in the middle of doing my assignments and I ran out of ideas and I need to submit them by tomorrow. But then it's time to pray Asar. While praying, that is the time when your brain started to think of new  and brilliant ideas to add  in your assignment. Okay, alright I am gonna add them as soon as I finish praying. Let s get this solah done quickly.,

Wait a second Najah?!! What is this?! There were two problems.
1. Why you start thinking about your assignment in solah? You were not focusing!
2. "Let's get this solah done quickly." NO means you are not practising sabar Najah.

Sabar is when you fight with your desires in order to please Allah. While praying, I should have constantly fight with my brain and my heart to concentrate on my solah rather than letting myself got carried away with my assignments. Secondly, I should have not rushed in solah! NO. It's wrong! Imagine you are meeting someone who you respect so so so much and need his help in every single thing in your life, then you just blurted words which you did not understand them and just left the meeting when you are done. It does not sound right at all, right? We should talk and ask for his help properly. Only words from heart will touch another heart, then only the person who ask help from will feel our sincerity and help us in any way he wants. That is when we are dealing with human beings. Imagine how we should have been when we are asking help for Allah?

At the end of the day, The Super Great Allah does not need our solah to show how great He is. The solah itself is for us to help ourselves to meet the purpose of our life.

Okay, that is all for now. I need to go to do some work. If you have anything else, feel free to add them! :)

May Allah help and guide us to be mukmins who try our best to look after our solah, ameen!

Najah

Naqib, this one goes to you! ;)

In 2005, my brother, Nabil got an offer to study medicine overseas. That was the exact moment when he inspired me so much to do well in my SPM (Malaysian Certificate of Education), get a scholarship and then thinking of studying medicine in the UK or Ireland. Personally, I have always wanted to give something really big as a gift to my parents, so I said to myself, lets get A star for all of my ten subjects as a gift to them.

Personally, with the help of Allah, I think I worked so hard. So so so hard until I slept like only 4-5 hours averagely and I did not even sleep during the day. I did not know how I survived in the class for the next day but alhamdulillah amazingly I did. Sometimes with the help of a picture of a guy I liked back in school, I became more awake then became more attentive during class. :P

Anyway, SPM exam passed and the results came out. Instead of getting 10 A stars, I got 9 A star and 1 B. To be honest, I was so sad  because I could not give my parents the gift I wanted them to have so badly.  I went back home, crying and sat in my room for the whole day. No one in the family had the courage to talk me.

But then, I said to myself. No, I could not stay sad forever. This will never change my SPM result. Believe in Allah, He did not give what I wanted because He wanted to give something that is much much much better. Since then I never look back. I took IB diploma and alhamdulillah here I am in Barts as a final year medical student. 

This personal experience made me reflected a lot on how I used to think, act and behave before when I was younger: 

1. Have the correct intention in doing everything. So in this SPM case, studying and sitting for the exam. 

: Do something not to please people around you but to please Allah.Only Him. 

2. Do not depend to your ability, but depend solely to Allah. 

: Depending on our ability will only make us lead a stressful life as there are things that are beyond control as they are within Allah's control. Change something that is within our control.

3. Allah will always give us what we need in life, not what we want.

: To be honest I actually so grateful that I went through this experience. This prove to me that how much you do or you work for something, in the end Allah will give you what He thinks the best for you, not what you think is the best for you because only Allah knows what we do not know.

4. The process of getting the outcome.is much more important than the outcome itself.

: All the process as in working so hard, helping out friend to do well in their studies, sitting for the exams, and most importantly, how my response on what happened. Alhamdulillah, these things have made myself today. 

5. A constant dua is very important as our effort. Dua is a subconscious thingy, do not leave it at the very  end.

: People always said, do your effort, then doa then tawakkal.But actually, I learned from an ustadh, he said that dua is something you do all the time. All the time. Not only after you finish with your effort. :) Allah even said, make dua to Me, I will answer them. ;)

So this post goes to my little brother, Naqib who is currently sitting for his SPM and also it is a reminder to myself to practise on things I know. Whatever happens in the future, embrace it and always see what we could learn out of it. So we will be more sabr and syukur in life, insyaAllah. 

Naqib, 

as your only sister, there is nothing more I have always wanted for you except whatever happen to you is the best  in the eye of Allah. So please do your best for your exam. I strongly believe that you have tried your best to revise and making dua to Allah. I wrote this with the hope to make you feel more confident to perform your best and convince you that is the crucial time for you to put your whole trust in Allah and He will absolutely decide what is the best for you. Make loadss of dua and I will always keep you and your friends in my dua too! :)

I love you loads. Study and jawap leklok okay?

Naqib, here are some tissues to wipe your tears while reading this, I know I am being extra sweet here :p. 

P/S: To you who are reading this, please make dua Allah will ease everything for my younger brother, his friends and all other SPM candidates. May Allah provide them the strength to do their best. Ameen!

Hopes.

Assalam ;)

How are you? Alhamdulillah, I am all good.Makin meningkat umur makin banyak fikir. I am not sure if this post is going to benefit you or not, but insyaAllah I hope it will in some ways :). 

Yesterday, I was thinking loads.People who knew me, they knew how crazy I could be at times. I love fun things loads. I am very opened which I think sometimes to a certain extent that is still the case when I am with my close girlfriends. High school friends. I used to be very open but at the same time, trying my best in practising Islam. Stick tightly on things what I think its right and stay away from the wrong ones. But after being here for at least four years, I came to a point of realization that I am a quite different person now than a person I used to be. I think and see life differently. Just like seasons, people do change. You change and I change too. Constantly. But most importantly, lets change for better kan? It is still long way to go to be a good and pious woman, but with the right intention, Allah surely will guide us, insyaAllah. :)

I am 24. So lets list 24 things up to see what can we do in our journey to Allah.

1. Remember Allah loads, making dua and do selawat loads loads and loads to the Prophet.
2. Be a good daughter, wife and mother who is beautiful inside and out.
3. Get a degree in Medicine. Be successful in family and career life.
4. Never tired learning about Islam and Arabic. Learn and practise and practise and practise.
5. Fall in love with the right man at the right time.
6. Look after solah and increase the level of khusyuk.
7.  A woman who loves to smile and only brings out her best at the cost of great pain.
8. Never hold grudges.Forgive, forget and love in return.
9. Have lots of love in her.
10. Calm, sabr and syukur no matter whatever happens.
11. Die in husnul khatimah.
12. Treat and help people nicely for sake of Allah and have no expectations in return.
13. Having the right intention in everything she does.
14. Does not waste time on things will not benefit her.
15. Be pure, pretty, honest and clean woman.
16. Matured, proactive and wise in making decisions.
17. Put other people first not herself.
18. Always think good of other people no matter how hard it is!
19. Start with small things. Be consistent. Then go for big things.
20. Believe in moderation.
21. Hide good deeds as much as she wants to hide her sins.
22. Do crazy things! and have fun in life! But lets not get involved or even come near to haraam things. :)
23. Do not put Dunya in her heart but put it in her hands.
24. Covering her aurah properly. Try bit by bit. Its not easy but insyaAllah its doable.

Okay, lets concentrate on these ones. Its actually a lot to be honest. But its okay, take one step at a timeee.Allah will surely help us. insyaAllah. May Allah guide our heart and show us to the right path. Ameen.

I need to go. I talked too much and I need to remind myself to do these things. Trying my best for the sake of Allah. insyaAllah. Okay. Babaii. Take care. <3 br="">

Wassalam. :)

:)

Assalam! How are youu? Hope you[yes you! the one who is reading this ;) ] are in the best of imaan and health.

Ya Allah Ya Rabb Ya Kareem. It has been 5 months since my last post. Masa. Cepatnya berlalu.

So after 5 months, now hopefully I am back as a more matured (insyaAllah :P)and wise young lady who is currently in her final year of Medicine! :)) Alhamdulillah ya Rabb!

I cant believe it. Dah nak habis Medicine. Alhamdulillah ya Allah. No matter how much we say alhamdulillah , no matter how much ibadah we do to please Him, it will never be enough to compensate all the Nikmah that Allah has given us. Never! So, lets never stop to thank Him for providing us the strength to thank Him. :) Thank you Allah <3 br="">

"Resipi kebahagian adalah bersyukur. Hanya orang bersyukur adalah orang bahagia. Dan orang yang hanya mampu bersyukur adalah orang yang bertaqwa. " [Prof Muhaya]

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I was thinking. In life, we normally blame or complaint, being so judgmental about other people's behaviour and trying hard to fix their character to be like us as if we are the best?!This is obviously good because we want them to be good as much as we want it for ourselves. 

But then just before we were about to comment about someone's character to other people, wait a second. Wait and reflect first. Remind ourselves about our own character. So Najah, tell me is your character good enough already until you have time to reflect and commenting on other people's character. Of  course, the answer is always no.

Building up a good character in ourselves is like a never ending jihad.It's difficult. Our nafs doesn't like good things but our heart loves them loads! Orang sakitkan hati kau, and the best thing to do is sakitkan hati dia balik. Cakap benda yang bagi dia marah. Baru puas hati. :P Tapi ini tak bolehh. Its not good. Allah doesnt like this. Allah loves us to make other people happy.

"If you make other people happy for the sake of Allah, then Allah will never fail to make you happy. "

So in the future, if we see someone with a bad character then keep it to ourselves as a learning lesson. This is totally okay! But then when we start sharing it with others, then its not okay. It s really not okay as it is wrong.Lets remember this before kita start cakap pasal orang lain.

We will be tested on what we said. So be extra careful on what we say especially about other people.

I spent too much writing this post. Lama tak tulis blog so idea macam kacau bilau sedikit. Sorry! :p

Okay kena berundur. insyaAllah, I ll be more organised after this. Take care.

Wassalam. 

Najah

It's almost 5 year-old now.

Bismillah, alhamdulillah.MashaAllah dalam sedar tak sedar, blog ini nak berumur 5 tahun dah kalau masuk bulan september tahun ini.

Sekejap sangat masa. Sekejappp! Tak percaya *Gosok mata*. Banyak rahsia rahsia, not rahsia but what I have gone through, masa KMB sampailah sekarang alhamdulillah dah bergelar 4th year medical student.

Lepas itu, bila dah sedar banyak dah conteng blog ini, fikir fikir balik sayanglah kalau mengabaikan blog ini. Tahun ini macam kurang menulis. So, terus menulis ini. I have many things to look forward for. Many things. insyaAllah sekiranya diberikan umur yang panjang. Jadi, saya kena bersemangat bertungkus lumus belajar sekarang supaya insyaAllah dapat bergembiraa dengan things that I am so looking forward to.Antaranyaa:

1. 29th May

Minggu depan insyaAllah, my little brother all the way from Jordan is coming over. Little brotherlah sangat, he is going to be 22 nanti. Dia cuti so dia saja nak melepak. I am soo happy about this, even insyaAllah I am a bit cuak, having my exam very soon, exam module on the 28th June, and my final exam for 4th year on the 15th July sampai 24th July but having him next to me will make me work harder biidznillah. I will cook for him and insyaAllah do my best to take a great care of him takpun dia yang jaga orang lagi lagi orang nak exam ini. So mama and babah takpayah risau. hehe

2. Summer Holiday

My cousin is getting married and many of my friends are getting married too. Alhamdulillah and barakallahufiikum to them. I am sooo happy for them :). And cuti kali ini lama sikit sebab insyaAllah nak buat hospital rotation dekat Darul Ehsan Medical Centre. I ll make sure my parents will spoil me much. I have been away from home for so long. So nak sangat rasa pergi sekolah, sarapan and bekal makanan disediakan and beramik and berhantar. :p 

Things are making me happy alhamdulillah. Whatever is good. Its all from Allah. Alhamdulillah.

1.SSC

My 6000-8000 words of essay for 4th year student selected component. Alhamdulillah, I have just submitted my final draft yesterday to my tutor. I have to say one of the thing make me worried at times ialah kewujudan essay ini sebab selalu fikir mampu ke tak buat. Like seriously. Cuak gelly! And now sekarang rasa macam alhamdulillah relieved sangat and speechless and rasa nak jerit unbelievable melampauu!

لا حَوْلَ وَلا قُوَّةَ إلاّ بِاللهِ الْعَليِّ الْعَظيمِ

Tiada daya melakukan ketaatan dan tiada daya menjauhi maksiat selain daripada pertolongan Allah!

2. I lost 4 kg

Alhamdulillah, I have always wanted to lose weight. So I did it. Turun senang tapi nak maintain? Opsie. Have to work harder. I want to lose more. hehe. Bukan untuk kecantikan tapi kurus untuk kesihatan yang baik insyaAllah.

3. Ramadhan

Its 50 days left! I am going back insyaAllah on the 20th of Ramadhan. So insyaAllah, I really hope to do proper tarawikh for my last ten nights back in Malaysiaaa.

Okay, anyway, I really need to go now. Aku lapar sangat. haha. I am gonna go to the tube station to top up my oyster card(macam touch n go card) since esok nak naik bus pergi psychiatry placement. Okay, to people who are having exam like me insyaAllah very soon, tak kisah lah exam ke apa apa ke. Lets hold on to the idea below. It always seems impossible until it is done. Lets put our trust in Allah, do our best and let Allah do the rest. Biidznillah. Allah will definitely make it easy for us, insyaAllah ameen ya rabbal alameen.

Wassalam. :)

I am 24-year-old.

Bismillah. Alhamdulillah. I finally have the courage to sit down and talk about things here.

Berapa lama tak borak dekat sini? It's almost 2 months. Dalam 2 months, I have gone through sooo many things. To be honest, more or less, it's a life changing experience. I have never imagined I will go through this but it happened, with Allah's decree. I thought I was quite matured on certain things but I guess I am not at all. I have still soo many to learn.

I read some of my previous posts. All my principles, my hopes and my fears in my life. So much easier said than done ha? Yes indeed. Sangat. Sangat senang nak cakap tapi bila melalui baru kau tahu rasa dia bila apa yang kau pegang kukuh selama ini mula terusik disebabkan sesuatu. Baru kau tahu tinggi langit bumi, asam garam kehidupan, baru kau sedar kau baru setahun jagung dalam kehidupan ini.

Sorry dear, I am being so vague about things kan?  Tapikan apa aku nak cakap, whatever circumstances yang kita lalui, please percaya and yakin dengan diri sendiri, those are the processes of purification of our heart. Do not ask from Allah for an easy life, but ask from Him a stronger heart.Even sometimes, I do listen to lectures, I know some advices about life, how to handle them but it will never be the same until u experience them yourself. That s why orang cakap experience is always the best teacher.

For those who knew me, I am not really the one who share everything in my life easily. Sebenarnya, I am quite expressive and talkative person, but when I am facing some challenging moments, I would rather keep  them to myself until I solve them and in fact kalau nak bagi tahu biasanya when I am done solving them, itu pun just to my parents and some of closest friends. Oh my goodness! Why I sound soooo serious right now. Haha!Nothingg serious sebenarnyaaa.

Dengar macam kritikal sangat apa yang aku lalui itu. Tak adalah serious sebenarnya. Aku macam baru melalui phases yang mematangkan diri aku, which is benda itu normal lah kan and semua orang lalui tapi this time around aku reflect terlebih sikit. Maybe sebab dah 24? :p Itu yang macam terfeeling extra sikit. Aku still sengal saja macam dulu cuma nak cakap aku most probably matang lebih sikit boleh compared dengan keadaan yang aku bajet aku dah matang itu. :P

Anywayyy! Enough about feeling feeling ini. Enough! :p.

Happy belated birthday to me ;)

I did not write any post on my birthday because I was so terlalu penat on that day. A quick list on them. InsyaAllah, for this year and the future, I want to:

1. To please Allah and the Prophet PBUH in whatever I do.
2. Get my medical degree.
3. Be a great daughter to my parents.
4. Appreciate Ramadhan as if it's my last one.
5. Keep on learning about Islam and never get tired of it
6. Have a good character.
7. Learning qualities to be good wife and mother. Amboi! :p

I need to study. Wan Najah, please.

Okay, Semua orang selamat studyyy! Fighting! and selamat bulan Rejab. Stay pretty always! ;)

Wassalam.